It's days like these where I wish i could just be a student forever. OR- on the other hand just be done with it and have a real job with real money... it's this caught-in-between business that's killing me. I'm graduating in less than 5 weeks, and with no time to look for a real job right now, I'm not sure exactly what's going to happen. I shouldn't have re-signed my lease, and should have just moved home with my parents like a normal person does after they graduate, while i get back on my feet. Now i have my credit card company chasing after me, requiring a payment today, I'm 2 months back on utilities, previously bounced checks are coming back to me from all angles, and yesterday i got a call from my mom saying that i owe $750 in rent to an old roomate because of a check that bounced while i was abroad a year ago, and I'm going to have to use my graduation money to pay it off. Well.... there goes that vacation i was dreaming of. Meanwhile I'm not even making enough money from working to pay for half of these things, not to mention being able to buy things like groceries. I mean i want to be independent and not ask my parents for money anymore... but when is the point when there's no other way out? I feel like I'm so far buried that i can't even see the light. At least if i had a job lined up for september i would feel like it would be ok... that it's going to get better. But i can't even finish my resume when every night theres a project that needs worked on, or an exam to study for, or having to work until midnight every monday and thursday. And how about that 25-page french thesis that hasnt been worked on in months?
What are we doing to ourselves? I can't pay my bills because I'm not working enough and I can't find a real job because I'm working in school too much... i have a kid sleeping on my office floor right now because he doesn't sleep because he stays up all night studying, i'm skipping a class today to work on a project for another, and for the past 4 years we've considered getting 4 hours of sleep a night to be more than adequate...... what are we doing to ourselves? And when is enough enough?
