Listen to the Beat

wow, so i officially had my very last day of college- i handed in the final version of my french thesis (32 pages and way too many hours of my life) on friday morning, and then that was it! i was officially no longer a college student. everyone has been asking me- "does it feel like a huge weight lifted off your shoulders?" and honestly... it hasn't really sunk in. i still feel like i need to go home and do homework. i guess when academia is such a huge part of your life for so long, it's hard to just get used to living without it (not that i will miss sleepless nights and long days).
i was always really involved in school.. with activities, friends, and taking on way much more than i could handle... every single term. but that's the way i am, and now that i have all this time on my hands i'm really not sure what to do with myself. haha... well.. my first thought was to go to the beach. so this weekend my and my boyfriend are in the hamptons living it up and taking a break from life. this IS the life.
so i'm gonna be waitressing for awhile (i know... i thought i hung up my belt forever) because i'm not moving home, and i have to pay the rent somehow, ya know? i'm definitely not looking forward to working nights again, but at least this was i'll have time to chill.. sleep in mornings, before i have to start my 9-5 life. and this will give me time to get my resume together, and really spend time on the job search process, so that i'm not tempted to take the first thing that comes along. this is, for now, my plan. and it could definitely change.
so my question is.... is it ok to not have a plan? all our lives we are tought to make one- go to school, get good grades, get into a good college, and then have a job lined up for when you leave. well i had a plan, and my plan changed. so now i'm going to take it one day at a time, and you know what? I'm kind of ok with that. for the first time in my life, i have no idea what will happen... next week. maybe i'll have a job, maybe i won't, maybe i'll skip town and go to paris. so in response to not having a plan... i'm celebrating the adventure in life and all the unknown that lies ahead.
bring it on.

Listen @ 4:20 PM

It's days like these where I wish i could just be a student forever. OR- on the other hand just be done with it and have a real job with real money... it's this caught-in-between business that's killing me. I'm graduating in less than 5 weeks, and with no time to look for a real job right now, I'm not sure exactly what's going to happen. I shouldn't have re-signed my lease, and should have just moved home with my parents like a normal person does after they graduate, while i get back on my feet. Now i have my credit card company chasing after me, requiring a payment today, I'm 2 months back on utilities, previously bounced checks are coming back to me from all angles, and yesterday i got a call from my mom saying that i owe $750 in rent to an old roomate because of a check that bounced while i was abroad a year ago, and I'm going to have to use my graduation money to pay it off. Well.... there goes that vacation i was dreaming of. Meanwhile I'm not even making enough money from working to pay for half of these things, not to mention being able to buy things like groceries. I mean i want to be independent and not ask my parents for money anymore... but when is the point when there's no other way out? I feel like I'm so far buried that i can't even see the light. At least if i had a job lined up for september i would feel like it would be ok... that it's going to get better. But i can't even finish my resume when every night theres a project that needs worked on, or an exam to study for, or having to work until midnight every monday and thursday. And how about that 25-page french thesis that hasnt been worked on in months?
What are we doing to ourselves? I can't pay my bills because I'm not working enough and I can't find a real job because I'm working in school too much... i have a kid sleeping on my office floor right now because he doesn't sleep because he stays up all night studying, i'm skipping a class today to work on a project for another, and for the past 4 years we've considered getting 4 hours of sleep a night to be more than adequate...... what are we doing to ourselves? And when is enough enough?

Listen @ 10:30 AM

So, i'm gonna be honest here. Before today, i didn't even know what a blog is, and actually i'm still not sure i do. I think my generation kind of missed that boat (haha, as if i'm that old!)- i mean we had xanga's, and that was pretty much the extent of it. Then i remember, in my sophmore year of college, everyone started jumping on this new thing called Facebook, and then all of a sudden everyone had a Myspace to go along with it. I even felt embarassed that i had to get the help of the freshman to help me set this up! I mean, i remeber being the most technologically advanced children, knowing more about computers than our parents. And now it's the kids 3 years younger than me telling me and my friends whats hot.
I often think that when future generations are studying history some centuries later, that this period in time will be referred to as the "Technological Revolution". I mean think about it- look at what's come out just over the past few years. I remember getting the internet and a screen name in junior high, and i felt like one of the cool kids. And now look at what the internet has become- it's everyhere we go- at home, at work, in class, on our cell phones, and a one mile radius of wireless access on Drexel's campus. I remember getting my first discman, and how it was cool to listen to music while traveling. Now people go absolutely everywhere with their iPods, and the thought of carrying aound a big bulky discman is ridiculous. And i'll never forget getting my first cell phone- in my junior year of high school. (Zack Morris style, of course.) Now everyone has a cell phone- even children! And i can't even imagine sitting through one class without a cell phone interruption. I remember DVD's coming out and thinking that they could never replace VHS (haha!!). And that's not even the tip of the iceberg- think of all we have seen in such a short time period- cars that can park themselves, TV's that can be hung on a wall, phones that can take pictures, videos, go online, and maybe even fly. In today's world of information, is technology keeping up with us, or are we trying to keep up with technology?

Listen @ 8:45 AM